In this week’s summary, J-Lo wins us, Selena Gomez gets half the look and Rose Byrne gets burned.
In this weekly fashion festival we only bring you the horrors and hits of the red carpets and we only treat events that celebrities know are provoked and criticized for their fashion (so no Britney leaves Maccas in its trackies.)
Why? Well, because all people – even celebrities – should get the chance to look like nonsense while packing a quarter-pounder (witnesses!).
AP, GETTY IMAGES
J-Lo rocked it this week, while Selena Gomez was almost there and Rose Byrne was far away.
* The best and worst dressed celebrities of last week
* Best and worst dressed celebrities of 2019
* Emmy Awards: best and worst dressed celebrities
THE GOOD: Yes, Zendaya is wearing a bright pink breastplate. That thing is solid – it makes no sense. She basically puts on a piece of fashionable armor and looks like a Marvel character who lives on another planet, but we can’t help but love the look.
The powerfully tinted breast protector is a Tom Ford design, and although we are a bit irritated by the elastic waistband of the skirt, the shape of the lower half makes it so easy that the futuristic top does everything necessary. It would certainly be too much, and it would just be ouchie for her to sit down, if the trou also had the texture of tin.
THE GOOD: These recordings really do not do justice to how incredible this neon Valentino looks on Lupita Nyong’o. The American actress wears a spicy, spicy hue like no other, but this is a particularly beautiful triumph. With the pleated fabric and hood, it is full of Audrey Hepburn elegance, but the recess under the cape and the chartreuse-green palette keeps things firmly rooted in the 21st century.
The burgundy lip color is unexpected and inspired, and makes the actress, along with the dress, a kind of the world’s most beautiful parakeet (we didn’t know this was a big compliment until we said it, but here we are).
THE GOOD: This can be a wildcard (or should it be a Wildecard?) Depending on where you sit with the entire dresses – that look like expensive robes. However, we are fans – well, we are now on Olivia Wilde thanks to this Etro. Sure, it definitely resembles the nightwear of an incredibly rich heiress in LA around 1961, thanks to the wavy sleeves, deep neckline and voluminous skirt, but it is also so ethereal in its lightness and simply damn glamorous, with its bronzed, metal print.
The huge jewelery necklace is the perfect centerpiece and helps Wilde turn into a smoky, sultry tarot card reader, which may tell you that your husband is about to walk away with your children’s teacher, but also has some pretty good ideas for how he can ruin his life with one phone call, tape and a handful of crystals.
THE GOOD: No one else in the world could wear this Georges Hobeika dress, just like Living La Vida Lopez. It is essentially a shiny beige body stocking with some well-placed rhinestones and it would look like most a super cheap polyester job, but the 50-year-old Jenny-of-the-spark plug has an unrivaled ability to dress to make singing (let’s be honest, her fashion singing is stronger than her real vocal chords).
And although we would have adored this dress in a bold jewel color, the beautiful flow and the final puddle of the skirt is winning us.
THE GOOD: Orange was the new black on the red carpet of the Critics’ Choice and while Alison Brie almost won the title of our favorite flame-colored dress of the night, that accolade must go to Laura Dern and her Emilia Wickstead number. What distinguishes this dress is how understated and minimal it is, with its sporty neckline and simple, yet skimming cut.
Most major award ceremonies are full of sleek, structured and totally uncomfortable-looking jackets, but Dern clearly has a lot of pleasure in this fitting, but not over-baking design. It is a relief on the red carpet and we are for it.
WILD CARD: Yes, Queen & Slim director Melina Matsoukas looks like a flax woven basket in this two-part bag. It is avant-garde in terms of fabric, but has a tweed set in shape. Yet we like it somehow, but we are well aware that some of you hate it. We appreciate that she looks strikingly individual and doesn’t even try hard, which is very difficult in this memeification day and time (when it can feel like we’ve seen it all … time and time again).
The design is by Y Studios, and although we would have preferred that she only wore the jacket with a slender trou ‘(the skirt engulfs her a bit), we are still somewhat impressed by the look.
DO NOT STOP: The simple bun, the red lip and the slender pink top: the Couture outfit from Givenchy Fall 2019 from Selena Gomez looks great from the waist. It’s just a shame they’ve decided to make the skirt look like a bunch of garbage bags in a stormy Wellington. It is not for nothing that garbage bags can be found on Pinterest boards with fashion inspiration.
CLOSE THE SO: Shall we do the positive things first? Well, on the one hand, Janet Mock’s sea-green Valentino is flawless; the soft fold around the neck is extraordinarily elegant and we need to know its skin care routine as quickly as possible, because the glow is insane.
But on the other hand, the rubber and sequined gloves look like what Michael Jackson would wear if he had been a dental assistant. All in all, the overall effect is a tailor’s issue that you would have to deal with if you had the Critics’ Choice Awards at 7 p.m. and a scale and polish at 6 p.m.
THE BAD: “This dress had the key to my heart,” wrote Susan Kelechi Watson about this Galia Lahav dress on Instagram, with its sloping front. Unfortunately, it seems that there has been a burglary at the back, with a bizarre steep flipper’s back that makes the actress look like she’s being left in a dusty corner.
The phrase business at the front, party at the back is appropriate – except it’s the kind of party that someone has crashed and just hangs around like a stink, no matter how often you ask and ask who has them in the first place invited.
THE BAD: Loles Leon is a legendary Spanish actress whose wardrobe is for the most part wonderful, but we call this a mesh miss. The sequin detailing (which acts as an extensive nipple paste) is armor-like. Put the seat belt of the aircraft around its waist and in general it is a design that smells of restraint (in the ‘buckle on’ meaning of the term, instead of the ‘Vanessa Redgrave knitted in a kind of cashmere’ kind of restraint).
THE BAD: Rose Byrne by name, Rose Byrned by her stylist with this leathery look. The blue Magda Butrym suit would be a challenging pill to swallow alone, but combined with a collisioning striped teal blue shirt, the old fringed scarf by Mick Jagger and the hot pink boots? It’s like trying to nip a paracetamol the size of a couch.
This tribute to Cyndi Lauper from the 80s is admirable, but there is a reason that it is generally considered the worst dressed of all decades (yes, we would even take a rib-crushing corset from the 1700s on this). Girls may want to have fun, but they don’t want any condensation that flows down their shins and gathers all night in their elbow joints from the world’s sweatiest suit.